sacred movement and real women

i went to a bellydance class last night for the first time in a couple years. it was a momentous homecoming to my self and to my body to step back into the embrace of that ancient expression that feels so good to me. i want to dance again. and i don't want to attempt to be "the best" (what's that?), or be competitive at all, i don't care about being "known" amongst the circles, and i don't care about wearing the latest coolest dancewear by whoever's label is "it." and i definitely do not want to drill myself silly so that my abs are tight, or so that my arms don't have any softness. these are ways that, whether i realized it (or admitted it) or not, i was distracted, and the soul was robbed of my dance in the past. i just want to do it because i love it, and because my heart calls for it in its absence. my life doesn't feel quite whole without it. and perhaps just as equally, i feel deeply called to share it with other women.

the class was at fatchancebellydance. it felt so good to step out onto the floor in my barefeet and panteloons, with many women who were new to the dance and so giddy and excited to learn. i appreciate the feminine and sacred aspects of the space, with Kwan Yin in the corner, and beautiful saris draped down the walls. i like the fcbd style for its proud open strong woman posture. it opens and warms the heart. i got home from class and was so jazzed. doing taxeems and shimmies around the house just like i used to do after TT's and Woo's classes years ago. i felt pretty and feminine.

and continuing my focus on the Earth Goddess ~
somehow or other by a random connection of internet surfing, i came upon Margaret Cho's new dance variety show ~ Sensuous Woman ~ which celebrates real women and their real women bodies. i love Margaret Cho!! she is powerful, in-your-face, genuine, and soft all at the same time. i wanna see her show!
i love Margaret Cho!

http://www.margaretcho.com/

infatuation

i still am awe-struck that i live in a "destination." this destination. people come to the Bay Area for vacations (i have!), and many live here by choice (too expensive to live here by accident!). one day recently at the Farmers' Market as i walked down the sidewalk, i saw more than one person snapping photos, souvenir bags in-hand, and i realized that i was part of the larger "scenery" of their San Francisco Experience. i have kind of gotten into somewhat of a routine; i at least know where the bike streets are, and where to find most of our groceries. it's not all-new. i still reside in my own head way too much of the time. i've been here long enough to have more than one low day. but this evening as i coasted down the street on my bike, groceries on my back, toward home, i looked downhill to the West where the sun was setting pink, and realized i was seeing the sunset on the Bay. my heart went a little a-flutter. i still don't think it'll be a long-term relationship, but i'm enjoying this part. i'm in that infatuation phase.

Raw Milk Emergency in California

if a new bill stands as it has been written, raw milk will be illegal in California in January ~ just a few months from now.
i'm simply going to paste the press release from Organic Pastures in here so that i get it all straight for you. if this, or having legal access to nutritious foods in general, is at all important to you, please take the five minutes it might take to follow the link, use their form letter, and email it to the legislators, whose links have also been provided. if you care to read my personal experience of raw milk, you can find it after Mark McAfee's letter.


~ Press Release ~
October 26, 2007
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Contact: Mark McAfee, mark@organicpastures.com

New Law Will End Raw Milk Sales in California

On January 1, 2008, California raw milk producers will face new requirements for
bacteria counts in the milk they sell to consumers. All raw milk must have 10 coliform
bacteria or fewer per milliliter under the new law signed October 8th by California
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.

“This new law limits the sale of perfectly healthy, pathogen-free milk,” says Mark
McAfee, owner of Organic Pastures Dairy, the largest raw milk dairy in the United
States. “Most batches of our milk will not comply with the new legislation. By about
January 20th under the new law, our milk will be available to consumers intermittently at
best. Thousands of our customers who visit 300 stores in California each week will be
without a source of raw milk.”

Coliform bacteria are a diverse family of bacteria, the vast majority of which are non-
pathogenic and do not cause illness. They are killed by pasteurization.

The pathogenic forms of coliform bacteria can be tested for independently. The new law
requires no tests for pathogens.

“My customers’ choices are now being limited by a law that makes no sense. Why test
for coliform bacteria when you can test for pathogenic bacteria directly?” McAfee asks.
McAfee’s dairy already tests for E. coli 0157:H7 and Listeria monocytogenes, the
primary human pathogens in the food supply.

According to raw milk activist Sally Fallon, “Officials cite health risks to raw milk but
once milk has been pasteurized, all the anti-microbial and immune-supporting
components are reduced or destroyed.” Fallon is the founder of A Campaign for Real
Milk, which promotes raw milk on its website http://www.realmilk.com .

Fallon adds that until the recent legislation, California has been a leader in providing
consumers with choice at the supermarket. “The legislation is obviously aimed at getting
rid of raw milk in California using standards that are unnecessary and impossible to
meet.”

AB 1735, introduced to the State Assembly on March 15, 2007 and passed nearly seven
months later, targets the raw milk industry specifically. During deliberations over AB
1735, legislative records show that legislators discussed raw milk dairies. However, raw
milk producers were not consulted on the new legislation.

“Had they asked, I would have cited a 2004 study in the Journal of Dairy Science that
shows 80% of raw milk would not meet this new law,” added McAfee. “That is a whole
lot of perfectly good milk wasted that my consumers would want to buy. No one asked
them about this legislation either.”

Section 35928f of the California Food and Agriculture Code protects raw milk with the
statement “the state does not intend to limit or restrict the availability of certified raw
milk.” AB 1735 appears to redefine the standards of milk sanitation so that most raw milk
will not be considered “certified raw milk.” It will be illegal to sell healthful milk to
consumers on January 1, 2008.

McAfee has begun a voice mail, email, and letter-writing campaign to state officials and
has called for raw milk consumers and supporters to attend a press conference at the
Fresno Farmer’s Market on Saturday October 27 at 11:00 a.m. (on the corner of Shaw
and Blackstone).


Contact: Mark McAfee, Organic Pastures Dairy Company, 877-RAW-MILK
http://www.organicpastures.com

~ Tiffanie's Raw Milk Story ~

growing up as a kid, i wasn't ever a milk fan; i didn't guzzle it down with relish like lots of kids did. once i was old enough to to get away with it, i stopped drinking milk, maybe having some skim milk on cereal every now and then. as an adult, if i ever ate anything that had a lot of dairy in it, such as ice cream or a latte or real hot chocolate, i would experience obvious unpleasant belly effects pretty soon afterward. my skin responded to it by breaking out. though i ate (lowfat) yogurt regularly and happily, i accepted the concept that my body didn't like milk, and i avoided it. i went for more than a year without eating any dairy at all before i heard about the possible benefits of raw milk. while attending Bauman College's Natural Chef course, my instructor suggested that if i had trouble with pasteurized dairy ~ which is all i had consumed in the past ~ i might be able to digest raw milk; it still has all the enzymes in there that help to digest it. in particular, it still has lactase, which helps digest lactose ~ the one so many people have trouble with. lactase is cooked away when milk is pasteurized, along with all the millions of other beneficial "probiotic" beasties in there that help our bellies assimilate the nutrients from foods we eat.
i was skeptical at first ~ wouldn't raw milk *kill* you?? but i trusted that particular instructor immensely; she had a quietly confident wisdom about her that i admired. i remember buying my first bottle of unpasteurized, unhomogenized milk ~ with a thick yellowish layer of cream at the top. considering that i was still getting over the decades-ingrained fallacy that fat was bad for me (and would make me fat), actually drinking this stuff ~ potentially deadly pathogens, saturated fat and all ~ this was a watershed moment. i poured some into a small cup and sipped. this was nothing like the gray and watery skim milk i remembered from college, or the thick stuff i drank as a kid that left a slimy film in my mouth. it was smooth, sinfully creamy, and perhaps even a little bit sweet. that was a year and a half ago. i can't say i immediately jumped head first into drinking a gallon of raw milk a week (although my milk-drinkin' man has transitioned quite nicely to drinking close to that much in a week). i fermented it with kefir, and drank it in smoothies. i began using raw butter, and eating raw cheeses. these days i have gotten to where i might sneak a swig or two of milk straight out of the bottle from the fridge (and the cream from the top is the specialest of treats!!), but mainly i still ferment it as kefir for smoothies, or warm it up gently with vanilla and cinnamon and have it at bedtime. it's soothing and delicious and tastes altogether wholesome and nourishing.
as for my body tolerating it ~ i still have unseemly and uncomfortable effects if i forget and have a large portion of pasteurized milk (like if i drank a latte), i am able to digest raw milk without problems. my skin is clear, and my general health and strength, i believe, are improving. i have heard of other people's dynamic stories of drinking raw milk and recovering from lifelong allergies, healing from disease, and so on, and mine is not one of those stories, but it is a story of increasing health and strength (i did run a marathon this past summer .. ), and of discovering that my body is able to tell me what foods are healthy for me as opposed to leaving those decisions to an over-reaching government.

it's true that pasteurization protects us from pathogens, but if we saw the conditions in which a very large majority of America's dairy cows exist (even some labelled "organic"), we wouldn't want to drink that milk anyway. no wonder they have to pasteurize it. even if it does not contain potentially deadly pathogens any longer, neither does it contain any nourishing, life-giving properties. [ i don't see this as a reason to go vegan . . though i did in the past. . ; cultures around the world have thrived for many generations by getting their sustenance from raw dairy.] the raw milk that we buy ~ from Claravale Dairy, and Organic Pastures ~ comes from cows who live comfortably and exceptionally healthily in the kind of pastoral environment that comes to the imagination when you fantasize about the old fashioned family farm. their farmers go far above and beyond what is demanded of them to sell raw milk. they care about their cows, their employees, their families, and their customers. they drink the milk themselves, and they're passionate about it.

i don't have all the facts and figures memorized, but i can point you to the sites that do. all i'm saying is: even if you don't want to drink raw milk yourself, please give me, my family, and our friends and their families, and the thousands of other families in California, the right to choose to buy raw milk. we're allowed to ~ even encouraged to ~ ingest so many things that aren't at all nutritious, and that our bodies don't know *what* to do with. we're allowed to buy things that will flat out damage us and/or our unborn children. . how about giving us the choice to buy something that will nourish us for a change?

for more information on the benefits, fact-vs.-myths, wheres and whys of raw milk, please visit:
www.realmilk.com

to read a bunch of other testimonials about raw milk (and read a cool blog), go to:
http://www.localforage.com/local_forage/2006/10/raw_milk_tell_u.html

to read about the California raw milk emergency, please visit
http://www.organicpastures.com/ab1735_landing.html

it's all about the food

i would show you photos of our sweet little home, but my camera is being a brat.
so i can tell you that, now that the house is getting squared (or circled!) away ~ not to its final perfection of course, but mighty liveable ~ my Berkeley (and Bay Area, i guess) Experience is, as i'd hoped, all about the food. this area is the mecca for my local-sustainable food fervor. as i was contemplating my next food blog entry, i realized i was adding to the probably hundreds of blogs in the Bay Area that are dedicated and devoted to and infatuated with food. i join my race. (and make melodramatic porn-orgasm faces as i lick my spoon, or suck the dripping pulp out of a perrrrfectly ripe persimmon. . ohhh!!!).

for now, and yet again ~ might i direct you to: www.food-a-file.blogspot.com

ahh! the always passion!
the ever process!

since we are settled into a place that is our own, my Mom sent me a couple of boxes brimming with the past. cookware (the main goal of the shipment), costuming, art, photos.. . journals. many journals. my heart was flooded. touching every item recollected scenes and feelings possibly forgotten, or at least put away. but especially the writing ~ thumbing through just a few of those private pages painfully took me back. and i see once again that i am, indeed, on a journey. it spirals up the mountain, and the view is sometimes the same, with a slightly different angle, or some different beam of light, perhaps colored or adjusted with the lens of newer experience.

a dear kindred spirit sent me an email, and connected me with this poem that felt quite appropriate. but doesn't Rumi *always* feel appropriate?


This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

-Rumi

thank you, Soulfriend, and soulfriends!

finding good foods where you live

here are a few sites which are really helpful in finding good local, sustainable, and mindful foods where you are.


www.eatwellguide.org ~ you can type in your zip code, and the mile radius you want to search, up to hundreds of miles. it gives you links to farms, stores, bakeries, restaurants in your area that are growing, preparing, and selling good food.

www.realmilk.com ~ this site explains in great detail what real milk is and why it is better for you and your family than the stuff most grocery stores, and even most "health food" stores are selling. then it gives you state-by-state, and country-by-country information about the laws regarding, and the farms and retail establishments that provide real milk.

www.eatwild.com ~ this site is a wealth of information on why grassfed meats are the only way to go. you can click on your area of the map and it gives you links of farms that are raising their animals in a way that is healthy and natural for the animals, and nourishing and safer for you to eat them. i like that she recommends that, once you find a farm in your area, you actually *visit* the farm to see for yourself whether you feel confident eating their products. a nice outing in the country, and a closer connection with your food supply.

www.wisefoodways.com ~ pertinent in location only to the bay area, this is the first site that spoke to my heart about eating wise. it's kind of out of date at this time b/c the author is up to her elbows creating nourishing foods at the kitchen i work at in Berkeley (which, i haven't even said, i don't think, is Three Stone Hearth[!!] at www.threestonehearth.com). but it's still full of
fun stuff to look at and read.

flashbacks from a dusty city

there is no way i'm going to sit here and write everything i'm wanting to share: too many boxes yet to unpack!!

i will say ~ i was nudged into realizing just how quickly the dust (sadly) washes off.
these photos, only a few weeks out, are such a blast of fresh air, so refreshing and cleansing to my soul.
this morning, to reconnect, i put on that one copper skirt i wore all week (you know, that one), and took my top off, glided around serenely, and wondered how much the neighbors could see ((*damn burner!*)). then a hard knock on the front door kicked me out of my reverie, and sent scurrying around the kitchen for a jacket to sign for UPS ((damn weirdo burner!)).

i advertised for this guy after my first year, and i think he does a great job of capturing so much. the "couples" one especially touched me. so much freedom, and so much feeling!

feel the love:

http://webbery.com/bm07

lucent dossier video

dem's my peeps!
this is a great video, with lovely Dream telling her Lucent Dossier story.
this woman, these people, changed my life forever.
they're still going.

www.current.tv/watch/180761882

locavores

this month is the Locavores Challenge. this, for those of you unfamiliar, is a voluntary (self-inflicted ~ ha! sorry!) commitment for a month to attempt to eat within a 100-mile radius of where you live. it's a great exercise, and quite an eye-opener! eating locally is the best way to get the most delicious, nutritious, freshest food. and is the best for good farmers, and especially our Mama Earth.
it's already part-way through the month, i know, but this is a great thing to be mindful of at any moment. an interactive Locavores network has been set up that is similar to Tribe, with people joining from all over to share and discuss their own schemes and trials in local eating.
here's Jessica Prentice's official schpiel, which i received via email:

From: jessica@wisefoodways.com

Eat Local Challenge 2007: September

September is already upon us!

The last of the bounty of summer is still gracing our tables: luscious tomatoes, sweet corn, delectable green beans, and crisp, crisp apples. What to do with all the excess?

When we look at history, we quickly realize that having 30,000 items to choose from in the average American supermarket is only a relatively recent option. For the rest of human history, eating locally was a matter of practicality -- only the rich could afford imported food. The idea of eating within your foodshed isn't really all that revolutionary. Ask one of your older relatives about canning and pickling produce, about making their own jam and their own butter. These were common everyday practices well into the mid-20th Century.

And now is the season for all that canning and pickling and jamming and jarring. Now is the season to learn how to preserve the summer's bounty for the winter months.

So that's what this year's eat local challenge is all about: PRESERVING.

Check out the Eat Local Challenge blog for some recipes and advice.
www.eatlocalchallenge.com/
Ask your older friends and relatives. Do some experiments in your kitchen... and then SHARE them with us!

That's right, the Locavores website is becoming interactive. There are tons of social networking websites out there... and there are plenty of blogs where people talk about food... but there hasn't really been a way to combine the two... and none of them have been geographically focused. So we came up with the LocavoresBlog.
www.locavoresblog.com/

Here, once you sign up, you can join a group for your geographic area. There you can share information about good local food providers, restaurants, CSA's, and food coops. You can ask other people in your area where the farmers markets are. You can share your favorite pickle recipe. You can organize local foods dinners. You can even upload your photos. You can form a community of people within a foodshed who care about supporting local, sustainable food production.

We're launching this site *today* -- so right now it's pretty bare. It's waiting for YOU to add the content. So let's get started!

You should receive an invitation to join LocavoresBlog.com shortly after this email. Simply respond and sign up. You can make your own page and then join up with a group. You can invite other members if you have friends or family who you think ought to know about Locavores. Enjoy each others' company. Tell us where the good food's at. Feel free to start a new group if you don't feel your area is represented. Surely there will be unforeseen glitches. We'll try to fix them as soon as possible.


Finally, you may have noticed that the local food movement (that's you!) has been getting a lot of press recently. Barbara Kingsolver's newest book, *Animal, Vegetable, Mineral* describes her year of eating locally.
www.kingsolver.com/bookshelf/miracle.asp
She mentions the Locavores several times in the book.

More recently, in a New York Times op-ed piece, the historian James E. McWilliams sought to debunk the idea that choosing locally produced food automatically decreases one's carbon footprint. He warns that efforts to reduce food miles might actually support higher carbon emissions at the source. McWilliam's editorial has been much discussed and debunked in the blogosphere -- most notably by Michael Shuman here:
www.ethicurean.com/2007/08/...-on-lamb/
-- and we couldn't possibly do a better job.

We would just like to point out that focusing on food miles as the most important criteria in judging a food system IS dangerous. One of the lessons of the local food revolution that we are in is that ecological, systems-oriented solutions are often better in the long term than linear solutions. Fewer miles does not necessarily equal better and more socially and environmentally responsible food.

Like every problem worth thinking about, food justice is many-layered and complicated. There is no black and white solution. But there are many incredible thinkers and activists and chefs and gardeners and people like yourselves working on all the grey areas in between. Lots of people are working hard to overcome the brutal paradoxes of local food and class. Lots of people are trying to figure out how we can knit revitalized local and regional food economies into the current global one. And we are all trying to answer Wendell Berry's hard questions: "What will nature permit me to do here without damage to herself or to me? What will nature *help* me to do here?"

Locavores: Eat Here!
www.locavores.com/

Don't forget to sign up for the LocavoresBlog once you receive the invite.
www.locavoresblog.com/

Sage Van Wing, Jessica Prentice, Jen Maiser, DeDe Sampson



* * * * *

For more about the Locavores, please visit our websites:
www.locavores.com/
www.locavoresblog.com/

capricorn

ah, that Rob! i'm feeling this one, for sure:

Capricorn Horoscope for week of September 6, 2007

I predict that you will soon be drinking your morning wake-up beverage out of a goblet made of gold mined in ancient times. Songbirds will appear near your window to sing you tunes that magically unleash your dormant genetic potentials. Out of nowhere, servants will arrive and offer to wash your feet in jeweled basins once used to baptize the children of queens. Maybe most exciting of all, you will command the power of the wind and lightning. OK, so maybe everything I just predicted will only occur in your dreams. But even if that's the case, it's a sign that you're in a heightened state of receptivity to miracles and wonders -- which suggests that they will soon be swirling around you.

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT (from the book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.)
Push hard to get better, become smarter, grow your devotion to the truth, fuel your commitment to beauty, refine your emotional intelligence, hone your dreams, negotiate with your shadow, cure your ignorance, shed your pettiness, heighten your drive to look for the best in people, and soften your heart—even as you always accept yourself for exactly who you are with all of your so-called imperfections.
*

wow! that "sacred advertisement" could be an everyday prayer!
thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.

! we're moving !

it might have sounded as if i'm experiencing growing pains in that previous post, but perhaps that's my overly romantic way of expressing that things are happening very quickly in my life right now! if this past year has plodded by . .. requiring much patience . .. like that long marathon. .. . feeling . . every . .step . . viscerally, this is a sprint (my tortoise self wouldn't really know what that feels like, but i can imagine ;-D ). events and happenings and landmarks are zoooooming by. and i'm up for the task (that's one of the many downloads i received at BM).

and we're moving.
Sealion and i are leaving our incredibly happy situation here in Sac with Mackindaddy and Gyrlene to create our own Big Kid Nest.
in Berkeley!
it's official; after so many false starts and searches and their emotional ups and let-downs, all up and down the west coast, and even some areas "back east", Baja, and who knows where else, we have finally signed a lease and are packing boxes. we're not expecting this to be a forever home, but we sure are darn excited about it for now! we have a sweet sunny space on a pretty street, still walking and biking (and BART!) distance from places that are important ~ and fun and delicious! and Sealion's commute will be just a tad longer (that's what cinched the deal ~ that he could keep his same work situation).

i like Berkeley. and i feel like it likes me back. although "the" 510 here in Sac has been a nurturing, soft and gentle place for a powerfully healing, inward-looking time in my life, i haven't ever felt connected to Sac. and it doesn't seem to sweat the fact that i'm leaving. Sealion doesn't feel like his life will change that much except, perhaps, that he won't want to go somewhere else everytime he has time off.

i love: tooling around Sac on my bike on a lazy Sunday afternoon. i love how laid back it is here. i love the tree-lined streets, and how extremely bike-able it is. i love the rose gardens. just thinking about leaving our well-loved backyard garden makes me melty inside. but the absolute main thing i will miss is our happy home life with our out-of-this-world housemates. i have marveled so many times at how blessed i am to have happened into this living situation with these people. such good people. the best. and the time i will miss most: our family dinners. everyone meeting around a table of delicious, nutritious, locally grown food and the finest conversation sharing learning and laughter. i respect and admire them so much, have learned so much from each of them ~ their unique, different (from mine), and heartfelt perspectives.

so here we go! next week at this time Sealion and i will be Berkeley-ites (for better and worse). on our way back from Black Rock City, we dropped our gear off at the new place instead of bringing it here only to take it there later. this morning we pulled the boxes down out of the attic to begin fuh REAL. worlds different than my seven-box leap into the wild westward unknown a little more than two years ago, i have found a Place, a Home, and Love.

life sure is a Grand and unpredictable adventure.


photos:
Sealion rejoices in front of our new place.
a toast ~ Berkeley-brewed Bison IPA ~ on our back deck, with trees in the background.
Sealion fills the aerobed in the living room.
El Caballero Negro and his dusty load out front.


**i remembered something else i love so much about Sac:
the unadulterated, penetrating Summer Sun ~ that lasts, uninterrupted, pretty much from April to December.
oh, how i worship you!

reflections

well i'm nowhere near processed through Burning Man 2007, but i thought i'd better at least check in, as i have promised myself.
this year was deep and . . harsh. the themes that come to mind right now are relationships, nighttime, fire. and mirrors.


photos.

dragonflies

lying on my back,
belly worshipping that great fireball in the sky,
i gaze up into the cloudless blue.
idle (?)

my eyes come into focus as i realize
~ dragonflies ~
wings white with irradiant rays
silently high floating like insect ghost fairies on the sky
one floats across this way,
and another the other..
a whizzing population i had never noticed.

time to get back to work,
turn from this luxuriant
waste of time (?) ~
i hardly think so:
how else would i have discovered
the dragonflies?

the definition of yellow

.. . their bountiful brilliance astounds me.

GET DOWN!

get down!

forecast:

Capricorn Horoscope for week of August 16, 2007
from Mr. Brezsny

Welcome to the Season of Temporary Insanity, Capricorn. According to my analysis of the omens, your imminent immersion in lunacy, delirium, and freakiness won't hurt a bit -- and may even stir up exotic varieties of pleasure and amusement. For best results, keep the following advice bubbling and frothing in the back of your mind. (1) "Only when he no longer knows what he is doing does the painter do good things." - Edgar Degas. (2) "Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment." – Rumi, translated by Coleman Barks. (3) "All of us are crazy good in one way or another." - Yiddish saying. (4) "You are either losing your mind -- or gaining your soul." - Julia Cameron.


*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
The sage and her student were standing by a pool discussing longing and ambition.

"What do you want more than anything else?" the sage asked.

"To perfect my ability to love all of creation the way I love myself," the young man replied.

At that moment, the sage tackled the student and shoved his head beneath the water. Accustomed to letting his teacher shape the unpredictable contours of his education, he did not resist.

One minute went by. Then another. The student began to struggle and kick. His teacher was strong.

Finally she released her grip and the student surfaced, fighting for breath.

"What did you want more than anything else during these last few minutes?" the sage inquired.

"Nothing else was in my mind except the desire for air," gasped the student.

"Excellent," beamed the sage. "As soon as you are equally single-minded in your desire to perfect your ability to love all of creation the way you love yourself, you will achieve your goal."
*
The preceding oracle comes from the book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.


photo: Sheltowee (with Adeline, in-arm) updates his look in preparation for the pilgrimage.

mama i'm comin' home

(sometimes ya gotta admit, ozzie said it best ~ before the tv show, that is.)

yes.

last year, upon returning to the playa for my second round, knowing (kindof, although every year is gloriously unique) what to expect, and knowing that i loved it and that it was my home ~ my home planet, i dove in head first without looking back until i was submerged in BRC love and it permeated every cell of my core, as surely and completely as powdery playa particles permeated every inch of my surface. i was a child in a world of trust, appreciation, acceptance, self-love, expression, and freedom. intentional, mindful, and passionately in love with
every.
single.
moment.

i was who i wanted to be, and a citizen of a population who *got*me, and loved me.

i is-ed in a nowness of
delicious
lip-smacking
booty shaking
eye opening
mind popping

pure.
possibility.



upon returning, and seeing a world that seemed to me so far removed from that darn-near-close-to-utopia that i experienced on the playa, my heart immediately plummeted into a muddy murk of longing
and waiting. to return.

don't get me wrong: this has been an INCREDIBLE YEAR!
of realities coming to pass that were not so long ago filaments of the highest imagination and dreamscape.
amen and hallelujah!
i showed up for that, i promise.
but you didn't hear about it much, did you? cuz:
where's the spark? what happened to the light? my creativity: zilch. motivation: what?
the inner journey has been an uphill crawl. and i didn't always show up for that. (and i sure didn't feel like blogging about it.)
i feel older. and tired.

and i guess i been doing more dwelling and less manifesting, huh?

Y:
it's time! to return! the fire has not yet lit under my be-hind that i'm Almost Home once again, but i can hear the flick of the bic. yes, please.
playafy my hiney, wouldya? wrap me in powder, sunburn me dehydrate me nighttime desert hallucinate me and send me to bed at dawn with no sleep and do it all again the next day. rainbow kaleidoscope musical dream me to my inner is-ness till i can't tell the gorgeous difference between the you and the me and the we and the rockingness of the here and only NOW.

and when i leave that particular playa plot of dusty enlightening (in-lightning),
it is my intention, i set it right here and now ~ .
: i will bring the playa back with me.

in the Survival Guide for this year ~ the Green Man, the front page article by Larry Harvey is entitled "The Default World". this is the name that folks who share my utopian vision of BRC have labeled the REST of the year, the rest of the world, where we put on our uniforms and try to look normal. where Katrina hit and polar bears are stranded, that one guy is still in office, and "our" country is still at war. Harvey writes that, upon exiting BRC last year, there was a series of signs that read, "welcome . . to the default world: . . whose fault. . is that?"
these words spoke to me; i am guilty.
and i ask myself ~ is it only the wonderland of BRC that i missed all year this year, or was it largely that self-loving dream-living childself i left behind, powdery smiling dancing glowing now only in photos?
well, she's not allowed to selfishly stay. she's too much fun and i love her too much. i'm bringing her with me.

we have a big year coming up, i can feel it. changes coming down the pike that are gonna rock our galaxy!
so i'm setting the intention now. in front of you and who all else and the universe and everybody: i'm gonna show up like the superhero i is. i'm stepping in to the cape and wonderpowers for playatime and i'm not taking em off: there's LIFE to be lived! watch out!

"If we learn anything from Burning Man, it's that Black Rock City is ours to make in whatever image we want, and so is the rest of the world. In a very real way, the Green Man isn't the end ~ it's only the beginning."

here i come.

photos ~ choose the caption that best describes the photo:
kiddos play at night
gemini flies by break of day
shadows on the vastness
dancin as if now is now
playafoot: a symptom of a larger experience whereby the viewer realizes everything. is. art.

The Real Dirt on Farmer John

welp ~ it's been a while. here's a post i just entered on my food blog, food-a-file, and thought it was worth posting here, too:

if you love good food, you have to care about good farms ~ these are the ones where real people care about the folks who eat the food they raise, and about the impact they have on the earth and on generations of creatures after them. with industrialization, corporatization, globalization (and i'm sure we can fill that in further), the family farm has been in trouble for a long time. i opened up the Sacramento newspaper today and read an article about the local Bartlett pear crop. pear farmers say it's difficult to compete with overseas producers who pay their workers $2 to our $10-$12, and it's also hard to find laborers to do the work. "If you think you're unhappy depending on foreign oil, wait until you're dependent on foreign food," said organic pear farmer, Tim Newharth.

transgenic animals ~ not just for meat but for milk ~ are being touted as safe and soon could come to a Safeway near you ~ unlabeled. most of the soy and corn in the US is already genetically modified (and mysteriously folks are experiencing more and more allergies. . ). "USDA certified organic" continues to get watered down. we've heard plenty about e. coli in vegetables. and this doesn't even begin to get into the discussion that our food is just not nourishing us anymore; it's causing disease and degeneration. it is becoming grossly obvious that an industrialized food system doesn't work. how do we, people who love delicious, nourishing food, combat this horror? here's the first step: insist on knowing where your food comes from. vote with your dollars and invest in your local food economy ~ shop at farmers' markets, join a CSA if possible, ask questions. raise food for yourself ~ even if it's just a tomato in a barrel or an herb on your window sill ~ and savor the deep satisfaction of providing for your own need.

our household went to the Gala Premiere Opening Night of The Real Dirt on Farmer John, at Sacramento's Crest Theater. It was sponsored by Organic Sacramento and Rudolph Steiner College (where i did some volunteering on their biodynamic farm), and had lots of tables set up with information and fresh produce from local farms, wine and cheese tasting. The film was great ~ essentially an autobiography of a man after my own heart: a sentimental, quirky artist and his love-affair with the earth. inextricably intertwined is the plight of America's family farms, and the struggle and pain of actual farmers and their families. and community. the happy ending is a call to action, and so i answer ~ by echoing the call.

here's the trailer:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=sqP1SC5Tr7U

go see it! :-D

RUNNER!

my dad has been a runner all of my life. when i was a kid, we'd be driving somewhere, and if he saw someone jogging on the side of the road, my dad would say enthusiastically, "there goes a RUNNER!"

i ran a half-marathon on sunday! Sacramento's "Shamrock'n" race. this was the first time i'd ever done a sport event by myself, ever, and i was really excited just to believe i could do it, and to have signed up for it.
it was spring-forward day, so that meant i had to get up before sunrise to be at the location (Raley Field, in "West Sac", directly over the picturesque yellow bridge) on time. i was so appreciative to see the gorgeous pink sunrise that morning, to be up with the birds, riding my bike across town with the fragrant spring blossoms greeting my nose. there were some 2500 runners in the half marathon, all abuzz like bees or ants pre-race; the energy was so up! the last few minutes before the race, as everyone was congregating in their places for the horn-blow start, i closed my eyes and faced the warm sun. i was grateful to be a part of this group of people-animals who were willing to wake up early on a sunday to celebrate their functioning bodies.
though i have gotten around to doing many athletic activities in my life, i grew up believing i was *not* athletic (or graceful) (i made a trade with my 3rd & 4th grade teachers ~ i'd grade papers if they didn't make me go to P.E.). the little kid in me was in awe of this feat. the adult in me was in awe at my body's sturdy capacity to do *work* ~ i don't even really start to warm up until mile five. the first seven miles i took it very gently on my joints and rolled my feet and kept my stride short. after mile seven, and especially after mile nine, i had no doubt my joints could take it that day. i picked up my pace and was running pretty fast, for a tortoise like me. the birthday boy, Sealion, rolled up (after his nightshift and a glass of wine) looking very handsome on his bike, and accompanied me the last three miles. it was nice to have his friendship and conversation to keep my momentum up those last few miles, although i think my happiness (possibly a.k.a. runner's high!) was largely carrying my feet! we crossed the finish line inside Raley Field, on their powdery-dirt track. i pushed it those last few feet, and was so proud to hear my name called out on the PA as i crossed under the balloon-arch Finish Line.

there goes a RUNNER!


photos: who's that cheese-ball with the big grin on her face in mile 12?!
i was not tired at all, i was just hamming it up. ;)
finish line, and my time on the digital read-out.
celebrating at Cafe Bernardo with the shirt and matching finisher's glass i earned.
mr. Sealion talking on the phone during his birthday breakfast/dinner/whatever you call it after a nightshift ~ we'll call it dinner, since he's on his second beer! ;)

two side-notes ~ i employ a running technique made popular by a well-known and accomplished marathon-runner, Jeff Galloway, in which you take possibly frequent one-minute walk breaks in order to prevent joint injury. when i first started training this way, i was taking a break every five minutes. now i take one at every mile (which ends up being about every ten minutes ~ tortoise, as i said). Mr. Galloway swares that marathon runners who *take* walk breaks finish with shorter times than if they did not ~ and he's speaking in terms of hare-times; not tortoise-times. ;-D i saw quite a few fellow runners doing the same thing.
the second note that i must add is that i believe i couldn't have run this if i hadn't improved my diet over the course of the last year, and especially the past six months. last february, i was having trouble running over two miles because of joint pain (when, before, i was running four-five miles at a time, no problem). for more on this, i invite you to go to
http://www.westonaprice.org/ . . .

poem for march

Blades of grass hold droplets of dew.
I am the grass.
I am the dew.
I am the sun and its spectral-shining through.
Perfect.