Monday, December 22, 2008


i love this video by Andrea Dorfman!  of a song by Tonya Davis.  

i also love this one.

(i realize i could post them on here somehow, but not sure as to that somehow.)

Friday, December 19, 2008


this little baby inspired much creativity from the sewing machine before she was even out.  now, i can barely keep my imagination quiet as it keeps brainstorming things to be created.  and every once in a while, i actually make it to the sewing machine to produce something i imagine!  as usual, i am most interested in creating new things from used fabrics.  daily inspired by my favorite blogger, Amanda Soule, today i made this awesome wool baby-cozy from the sleeves of a used sweater (i put it in the washer and dryer on hot to felt it first), mimicking a similar one that she hand-knitted.  
i'm a sucker for contrasting stitching.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Dear Anjali (first bath)

that first night you emerged into the air, i couldn't sleep.  urgently awake for 5 days straight, anticipating and anxious over you for 42 weeks before that ~ i wasn't about to close my eyes to the wondrous sight of you finally in my arms.   at 2 am the nurse came in on her rounds and scolded me, "you've been through a lot.  you need to sleep."  i smiled and nodded appeasement.  finally i tried to situate us skin-to-skin in the narrow bed to rest (and set my phone alarm to ring every hour to make sure you still breathed).  

as challenging as joyful, these first two months of your life so far.  you come with a steep learning curve for this momma so unfamiliar.  but you're a gentle and patient teacher, and i wake (most) each day ready to learn more.  

then i give you your first bath.  i draw the water too hot at first and you immediately scream alarm when i dunk your foot.  but when the temp is right, i slowly smooth water over your legs and gradually lower them in.  your eyes dart around the room with this unfamiliar sensation and i lean in to grab your gaze.  i speak the soothing mommy language your smiles have taught me.  you search my face with question to discern your happiness and safety.  our eyes remain locked as you relax into enjoyment and ease.  i am caught with giggles that make my heart gulp for air as i am amazed at the trust you place in me, and your wondrous angelic newness.  i am honored to be here with you in this moment, to share these first impressions with you ~ the world as huge and important as perfectly warm water in the bathroom sink.  i sit down to dry you and you melt into my breast for a deep soothing meal.  i glide my fingers over your soft soft skin and whispery fine hair, and am taken back to that first night, welling over with gratitude and awe-filled tears.

and this is just the beginning. .   

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Anjali's birthweek, as told by Papi Sealion

well, Anjali has done what i could never do for myself ~ torn me away from this computer. i am totally absorbed with her; when she's awake i feel guilty for being online, when she's asleep i'd rather be getting stuff done that i can't otherwise. but i miss communicating! i haven't found the time to write our story as i would like to, and i want to move on to sharing with you about post-natal life. so i'm going to post Papi Sealion's version ~ written only days after her birth. it skips some details, but the feeling is all there.

so if you don't know:
(only six weeks old, but that seems like such old news!)
Anjali Sage Pope was born at 4:17 pm 
on Saturday, October 25. 
she weighed 7lb 7oz, and was 21 inches long.

in the words of the papa (pardon the doctor-speak [ask questions for clarification, if necessary]):

It began Early Sunday morning. Sunday October 19th. I awoke to Tiffanie at 3 AM asking me to call Julie, our soon to be savior, so she could leave on the first flight from San Diego to help us with the labor. The contractions continued through the day, moderate in intensity and 10-20 minutes apart. They broke in the late afternoon and Tiffanie was able to sleep through the night to Monday morning without much interruption. Monday was eventful. The contractions closed in on the magic number 5 minutes apart. A number that would seem to be the finish line of a marathon by the end of the week. The midwife on call, in close contact, continued to reassure and say "call me when they get to 5 minutes apart." 9 minutes, 7 minutes, 4 minutes , 9 minutes, 12 minutes, 8 minutes, 8 minutes, 6 minutes, 15 minutes. Sheets of paper were strewn across the house recording contractions and hoping for the magic number of 5. just 2 in a row, maybe 3. That's all we wanted. I wasn't sure why it mattered, but I was sure that it wasn't getting there. Monday night passed, Tuesday night passed, all the while my laboring goddess continued to pace the house, taking each contraction as it came and smiling until the next. Although against her usual practice, the midwife checks her cervix, 4-5, fully effaced and the babies head readily palpable. Wednesday is now past. Tiffanie hasn't slept in three days other than 5 minute respites occasionally between contractions. Her lower back is raw from the hours of massages I have applied and the inside of her ankles bruised from acupuncture and massage to try to get the labor organized. The days weren't bad with the pineal gland on our side. As we all know, sleep deprivation can be ignored by the body in extreme circumstances. The nights were agony. She continued. Thursday gone and Friday night now at hand her exhaustion is evident. All of our exhaustion is evident. The baby still thumping away at 145 BPM through every contraction. The midwife still can't understand why the labor wont get organized. We go to the hospital that night. The concern is for a possible twin that was missed through the gestation (remember, we had never had an U/S up to this point). No twin. Baby looks great, placenta looks great. Lets go back home. On the ride back her contractions finally regularized. We had met the magic number! We found the 5!! 4-5 minute regular contractions all through the night, 10 more hours of them. We are all ecstatic, the birth tub is filled up, and we're ready to have the baby. Baby has other ideas. Still no baby by 8 AM. Cervix still at 5 cm. Tiffanie's eyes still open and a smile still on her face after a full 5 days without sleep. The midwife says that we have no other option but to go get some Pit. After arriving at St. Luke's in San Francisco the baby started showing some decels during contractions. Still reactive. The pit is started and that reactivity waned and the decels become late. Tif's temp starts to rise as does Anjali's baseline HR. The doc calls it and says we have to take the baby out now. At 417 PM, Anjali Sage was pulled out in an urgent c-section after 7 days of battle. The cause uncertain, but the best guess so far is the combination of three factors. a 42 week old placenta, a very short umbilical cord and a nuchal cord. The baby simple couldn't descend any further because the noose tightened every time she tried. Thanks to all of you for your concern and support through all of this. We could not have done this without Julie, Tiffanie's best friend from San Diego. She was there with us the whole way.