Though I love using a Mac computer, I have never been proud of owning an Iphone (though I secretly love it as well); I just felt like a techno-gadget "joiner" ("if the other kids are doin' it, I'm not" is how I've always functioned, regardless of whether it's the best way. ; ). (And I hate that smartphones have "apps" as opposed to "applications". But anyway.)
I happened upon the Hipstamatic App for Iphone, and it's just the artistic medium I need to help process the .. sentimental place I find myself in life at the moment.
Things are changing for our family. We have a dream, a goal, and a plan ~ not necessarily all synced up. We are moving to Sacramento in the next couple of months. We have a goal of spending dramatically more time in Baja, and of dramatically simplifying and downsizing our situation here in California. We dream of spending most of our time in Baja on a piece of land dedicated to permaculture with a small community of others. (I dream-dream of living in Baja most of the time by February.)
We had gotten really comfy in Berkeley. I feel like I "fit in" in Berkeley like I have in no other place in my life ever. Our life could progress contentedly and consistently and easily here for a long time. But there's not much of a challenge here (maybe getting to a yoga class regularly), or adventure (darn! I missed the 4:50 train! gotta wait for the next one). When I imagine a trajectory of life in Berkeley, I don't feel Destiny calling me to a higher purpose.
When I imagine attempting a life in Baja Sur, Mexico, especially with permaculture, my mind's eye pulls back so that I see far and wide. (There is a particular photo of myself in the mountains near Portland, Oregon, where I was seeing a most incredible beautiful view, and the breeze was blowing back my hair. It reminds me of that.) It feels important and visionary. It requires me to step into my best and highest self. I feel called.
Sacramento is the stepping stone, what ties it all together (The Big Lebowski's special rug). It helps us live closer to our priorities ~ of living simpler, smaller, cheaper, more self-sufficient and creative, and closer (just a block away, actually!) to chosen family Arlene and Brian.
And, though this has been an unusually chilly summer for the whole state, Sacramento is a hell of a lot warmer than Berkeley! I realized I had made a deal with myself during the rainy season that if I remained Zen with the gray and wet, then I could soak in deeply the summer heat and sun; it never showed up this year. ! Cinching it up, I've noticed a fundamental difference between myself and the "dedicated" Bay Area residents I've talked with and overheard, who smugly say, "Oh, but I like the cool weather.." Well ~ you can have it. ; )
It feels scary and poignant and adventurous and unknown. Exactly what my life hasn't been at all for the last three years ~ and (I also realized) that was precisely what I needed to bring Anjali into the world: stability, comfort, ease. And really good food. Now we're ready to fly.
As I look through these photos I realize I have everything I need right here. No matter where we end up, what the adventure requires of us, or how it all turns out. I'm good to go.