Yup

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***

I think I'm doing it. I'm gonna take Anjali to Burning Man.

(caution: i always wax wordy and ponderific when it comes to Burning Man, don't i. . )

Before we got pregnant, we were so convinced that we would be that hard-core family who went no matter what! But as I got more and more pregnant, and Baby became more and more of a reality (and an oven), we skipped last year. As soon as Anjali came out into the world, and I took in how precious and soft and beautiful she was, there was no way I was taking this tiny creature into the harsh desert. She might get hot! Or some careless person might break her! This was the firm stance I took. And sensible people whom I respect agreed wholeheartedly. My husband and friends made plans for the playa, and I made plans for a girlfriend trip to San Diego with Anjali instead.

And then Sealion played a sweet game with Anjali where he hid behind the door of the kitchen and popped out randomly ~ first up high, then down low! From one side, then mysteriously the other! And with a different silly facial expression every time. I might have enjoyed it as much as she did. It reminded me of the childlike open heart that I always rediscover while in Black Rock City. Lightness. Later in the day I was dancing in the kitchen (as I often do) to some inspirational beats. And the idea came to me, really for the first time: I could go to Burning Man with Anjali. Crazy talk. I thought about it some more. As I did, a tension was released in my stomach that I didn't realize I was holding. I found I was liking myself more. I felt hopeful and optimistic. Hmm. This is important to pay attention to.

Scheming, researching, I joined the Kidsville theme camp Yahoo group (yes, for those of you unfamiliar, there is a family camp out there already). Asked some questions, checked in with my self once again (and with my husband). It felt good. I registered myself and Anjali for a camping spot in Kidsville. (Papi will still be camping with our friends over in Kentucky Fried Camp, where they serve fried baloney on white sandwiches and shots of bourbon [not to be interchanged with Jack Daniels] to a long line of hungry playa-goers. them's our peeps!)

I remember talking to one of my friends, a father of a three-year-old who had been to the playa pre-baby. About taking children, he firmly judged, "Burning Man is an *adult* playground." And I nodded. Yes; I'm sure the drug-induced orgies will occur while we're there. But we'll never come upon them, just as I've never seen one in the past. On the playa, as with most of life, you kinda find what you're looking for. Especially between the hours of 7 am and 9pm in Kidsville.

As for my baby ruining my own fun at Burning Man? She *is* fun for me. My experience this year will be different than in years past. But, as I already said, it depends on what you're looking for. I'm looking for a few days in my favorite city with my favorite new person; not for a babysitter while I go play like a non-Mommy (though I respect all those other parents out there who do have a babysitter. That's just not my vision for *me* this time around).

When I entered Black Rock City for the first time, I was awe-struck. I felt as if I had found my home-planet, finally! A whole city full of creative adventurous people living self-imagined possibilities, stretching breaking and stepping past limits. Visionary, expressive, do-ing, solutionary (I like that word; I should send it to Webster's), hugely thought-provoking, and Big.

Anjali doesn't need this homecoming. She is already there. She is Big everyday, and only knows how to live Big. But Mommy would love a reminder. Last year when I chose not to attend, I felt as if I were saying "yes" to my baby. This year, more and more, it's feeling like I have been saying "no" to my self and my spirit. I feel as if I need to go. And, more than the mild temps and fully-clothed citizenry of Berkeley, Anjali needs a Mommy who is in touch with her self and feels free.

I'm ready to say yes.

***

And the next question I answer yes to ~ why, yes, I have started sewing feverishly. ; )

***wig and goggles not necessarily included.

butterfly bush, nasturtium, bachelor's button, cosmos,

mystery daisy-esque flower

crafty: kitty cat dress for a friend

I am pleased to get to show you this latest sewing project that I created for a dear friend for her first birthday.

At the family reunion ~ I'm honored!

This was shot when it was hanging on the clothesline, here.

For the base dress I used a pattern by Lotta Jansdotter, from her book, Simple Sewing for Baby. But I really took off from there. I repurposed three women's blouses (called "baby doll blouses" ~ how appropriate), and was able to incorporate the collar, shoulder pleats and buttons from one blouse to make this dress a lot fancier than the pattern from which I was working. And I used the pocket from another blouse. I had so much fun scheming how to use the blouses and then making this dress. And although the design intends for the closure to go in the back (as with lots of women's clothing), you can see that it works just fine in the front. But, of course, the cute dress only highlights how special the wearer, herself, is.

Oh, dear. .

And they keep getting cuter?!

boogie down . . sometimes

Well, I spoke too soon on that one.  This morning as we listened to it, it had quite a "Dance Party 2000" kinda feel to it.  And then as soon as I started to walk over to give a song a "thumbs down," I look over at Sealion and he is mouthing the words and knows all the breaks (his favorite music radio station is SF's gay dance station).  So cute.  

So a lot of the time you get Curtis Mayfield (whom I *love*), and sometimes you get people called Maroon 5.  It's all very danceable, just some is very much my style, and some very much Sealion's. And, of course, since it's Pandora, you can fine-tune it to your preferences.  

Just do it when Sealion's not looking.  ;-)    

. ..  a post script:  ok, so i was wrong in the above post.  when sealion read it, he said, "i do *not* like Maroon 5!"  i just picked that group because it was one with which i was totally unfamiliar.  but apparently that doesn't even represent him well, either.  so there you go. . (but there are still plenty that he does like that i would thumb down!)  

boogie down

I feel cheesy loving Pandora as much as I do.  But here's a station  Sealion suggested this morning that I just *love* ~ Jamiroquai.  Stevie Wonder, classic Michael Jackson (may his soul finally be at peace), and then a bunch of newer stuff I wasn't familiar with that is so danceable.  This station is seriously, severely bootie-shake material.  You can't help but dance.    

   

feverfew, yarrow, butterfly bush, nasturtium, and pea blossom, 

with the Pooh Bear lamp that one of my parents' friends made for me when I was born. 

dance, and the dancers

And did I mention dance?  

Creative, innovative, highly skilled, hard-working, passionate and devoted to the dance, 

these lovely creatures are too modest.  

gratitude: for friends

Ahhh. So awesome to have TT, Farhad, Mel, Phil, and Phil's mom, Sonya, "Me-maw," in the area for a while! Music, hookah, dance, laughter, bourbon, and late night (all-the-time, more like it) Indian food (well. . food. if we're involved, there's food involved) were all in abundance.

Ahhh. Good, old friends. And good times with good old friends.

TT!

TT and Farhad toast the oysters at Hog Island in SF's Ferry Building. 

Anjali and her new BFF, Ivy, from whom Anjali earned her first official nickname, Jolly (a common American mispronunciation of the tail end of her name, and more importantly, a fitting adjective). 

Me-maw! (not ours ~ Ivy's.)

A music rehearsal with Helm at the Shochats'.  

The melody from Farhad's tar was the theme of my head the whole time.