Tuesday, September 16, 2008

savoring

Talking to Woo on the phone, I got teared up.  You, Baby, have already pierced my heart.  Having you inside me just under the surface is like no other experience.  A few days ago, knowing we were full term at 37 weeks, I felt "ready" ~ I had a little fantasy of your coming at any time, "early".  I no longer wish for you to come "early", or to be impatient for the time of your emergence.  This space of having you inside of me is so minute in the course of a lifetime.  So precious.  I want to savor it.  It will be passed before I even have a chance to blink.  Take your time.  Don't rush.  I love this moment.  Mmmm.  
I rub below my ribs on the right and feel your legs there tucked.  Your back riding down the length of my belly just to the left of my belly button.  I rub there and you respond, slightly shifting ~ first your tail and then your legs, your arms. 
I am filled with you.  Full of you.  My skin has stretched, my organs and bones shifted to accommodate your developing form.  We are a pair, you and I ~ yet one, all at the same time.  
Soon you will be out in this cold air.  I will hold your skin next to my skin, next to my heart, for as long as I can.  
But for now you are snuggled warm inside.  And I can enjoy holding you in this way, savor your presence as literally a part of my being for this ~ one of the last nights of this miraculous tandem all-in-one existence.  

Take your time.     

5 comments:

ecogyrl said...

yea!!! a baby update! i've been trying for the life of me to remember your potential due date and now i'm in the know.

most regular doctors don't allow such things any more, but i was a month late (wanted to be a leo, but didn't want to share my mama's birthday~ such a leo quality).

how soon till the baby can come visit KY?

love you!

ps~ exceptionally exciting news might be breaking in the next few weeks. i don't want to be premature about the matter, so we'll have to savor this tidbit for a minute or two as well!

Chef Dorothy said...

So welled up! Tif, you captured the feeling, and the amazing beauty, of carrying a child -so perfectly. Hugs and love to you Sister. xoxo.

alyssum said...

Beautiful!



....although I was very confused at first because A) I thought I was reading Mick's blog. Then when I realized it was yours, I thought you were calling Woo
"Baby" and talking about her being inside of you. Wow. Now THAT would have been news! HA HA!

woo said...

What a beautiful moment! And your description of savoring a moment of presence is also beautiful. Hearing how Baby feels inside of you is amazing.

I love that Alyssum had a moment of imagining that I could be inside....tight squeeze but quite cozy and comfy!....I do like to be called "baby"......

Love!

Randi said...

I'm catching up on my blog reading, and I'm so happy I read yours today!

This made me cry! I remember those last precious days, feeling so full with Stella, not knowing anything about the road ahead and trying to savor each moment. It's such an amazing experience -- every part of it -- and I'm so excited for you!

Keep us updated!