this is a quote for which I haven't found the official source yet, but it is attributed to the Hopi Elders. It feels appropriate here.
...Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary.
All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.
We are the ones we've been waiting for.
I'm having such trouble *explaining* to you about all that I'm thinking and feeling lately! I sit to describe it and the words turn in on themselves and I'm left panting and searching with my eyes.
Perhaps I could instead share with you some sketches I've done for the first time in years to show you pictorially, or maybe a dance would describe it ~ because I've been doing a lot of that too. Or if that didn't quite convey it, maybe I could do a few cartwheels in an open sunny, grasshopper-jumping, clover blossomed field ~ because I've been doing a little of that too. Or even the old standby, the kitchen, has been housing quite a bit of activity in the past few days; maybe I could show you all the meals I've been jazzed to make.
Well, nope; I'm still not getting it by writing here. I just deleted several paragraphs of attempts. So I'll share the experience of the above photo:
Here I am on a hike in Tahoe on the 3rd of July. See that white stuff in the background? It's snow. The water I am emerging from is a collection of actively-melting snow. I stepped over the snow to get into the water. It was so cold. It took courage to work up to jumping in, but with the en-couragement of my husband (who had jumped in pretty much after my suggesting it) and my daughter (wading exuberantly naked), it was the only thing to do. And I'm so glad I did it! Invigoration x 100, there was no way not to know you're alive and be 100% in the moment as I clamored to the surface.
As urgent as it felt to get my head out of the water, as I was emerging, I was also thinking, "I wanna do this every day!" In an instant, every cell of my body was re-vived and coursing with exhilaration. I felt energized, but even more importantly, I felt sooo satisfied with, and grateful for, my decision to follow through and jump in that water.
And this is the way it is with me lately. Actively, purposefully, I have been practicing expanding my heart and making choices to move myself closer to Yes ~ closer to the natural animal life that is the birthright of all Earth inhabitants. It was, and remains an effort. But I am beginning to reap the rewards of this discipline. Each step that I take feels more natural, and every movement, instead of taxing me, is giving me energy! My awakening grows deeper by the day. I feel vibrant and lively!
I am an animal, alive on this planet!
And that's as close I'm gonna come to explaining it to you for now.
Let's not talk; let's just go fly in a sun-drenched morning meadow with the dragonflies.