Farm City

I've jumped headlong into another great new book.  Written by one of the women who work/own at the biodiesel station where we buy our fuel, Biofuel Oasis, I had heard about its emergence and awaited it eagerly.  Farm City The Education of an Urban Farmer, by Novella Carpenter, is the account of the real life adventures of the author raising produce, honey, eggs, and meat in a vacant lot in downtown Oakland.  Compassionate, frank, witty, and detailed.  With Sealion having just scoped out the "perfect" designs for our near-future chicken coop, and picked up the second-hand lumber this afternoon, it feels relevant.  And just plain fascinating.  

Now back to the book!     

MyFarm

Remember my friend and fellow Three Stone Hearth apprentice, Trevor?  Well, check out how far his business, MyFarm, has come!  I am so impressed, and so psyched for them and San Francisco.
 

gratitude: for friends

Woo!

Landing pad, soundingboard, ear, shoulder, hand. 

(At the Coronado beach [right, woo?], San Diego.)

 

Buddy, girlfriend, sister, auntie.

Life doesn't feel right if I go too long without seeing my Woo-lie. 

(With Miles at The Linkery in San Diego.)

baby-loving interlude

gratitude: for friends

Today I'm giving thanks for our Family, Uncle Brian and Tita Arlene (known formerly on this blog with different names...)

We miss our family dinners with them so much, but that makes having dinners together nowadays even more special.

(Here we are enjoying a family dinner on our back deck.) 
With Family, you have full-on belly laughs like this.  I love this photo of Sealion because it is so genuine and full of joy. 
They're our partners in Good Food. 

(At Oliveto in Rockridge celebrating Arlene's birthday.)
And Tita enthusiastically comes to the rescue for a grumpy squirming Anjali.  (Here we're at the Big Kitchen in San Diego.)
Cheers!  To Family.  

gratitude: for friends

Well, I've been trying to articulate myself on this matter for weeks now and just not getting it to my liking.  Meanwhile, I don't have much time to write with many loved ones visiting.  This has  resulted in a blog that has been sadly sparse this month.  

Sealion and I are beside ourselves grateful for friends and loved ones these days.  And while I valued hermiting for years as I hashed and rehashed some inner work, I think it has served me and that I may be social now.  I'm sure it probably surprises some of you who know me well that visiting and having visitors for a solid month sounds just fine and even mostly awesome to me!  Who will be visiting next?  Come on out, y'all.

So for the next few posts I would like to give thanks for some dear friends.  We are so blessed. 

First I would like to send a heaping helping of gratitude out for my oldest dear friend Gemini Cricket.  I continue to be impressed with how we have allowed each other to evolve and change, and how our friendship weathers those evolutions and changes.   Gemini had a birthday recently, and a few nights beforehand, I had a dream in which I was giving him a big, warm birthday hug.  He is so much a part of who I am, even thousands of miles away and months between visits.  

Cricket papa with Firefly babe.  I love this photo!

Love to you, dear friend!    

baby's first bangles

Even if she weren't the daughter of a bellydancer, a girl named Anjali needs some bangles, don't you think?!

Thanks, Aunt TT!  

Food, Inc.

I haven't done an advertisement in a while (and I've been brewing up a soapbox speech about plastics, but haven't found the time. . ). 

 Here's one worth watching: the movie, Food, Inc., due in theaters tomorrow.  If you have been wondering what all the fuss is about organics, food safety/security, "local" foods, and why it is they expect you to pay several times more for the "same product" if it is labeled organic, this will be a high quality introduction for you.  Seeing a movie is a pretty painless form of education.  From this interview by CUESA, it sounds as if most of the information will not be shocking to those of us "in the know" about food issues.  But I think it's always wise to keep myself reminded about why it is I do what I do, and don't do what I don't do, and to support the folks who are putting forth the effort to get the information out, also so that when someone says, "Whatta you think about this?" I can have a fruitful conversation about it.  Because what we eat is so important for so many reasons.  It affects everything.  

crafty: wet bag for a friend

I made this wet bag ~ a bag to hold wet cloth diapers ~ for my friend, Jessica, and her little baby, Tor.  I didn't get to take a photo of it before I gave it to her, but I love this photo she took with her computer ~ her little smile above the bag, and Tor's sweet face behind.The bag is made of felted (washed and dried on hot) wool sweaters ~ blue ribbed on the back, brown-and-natural with multi-colored diamond stripes on the front, and orange flap, with a velcro closure on the flap, and a loop on either side for hanging.  

spirit photos of a baby animal

a line i love from that funky wordsmith Ani diFranco says, "It took me too long to realize that I don't take good pictures cuz I have the kind of beauty that moves."  true, some images convey so much in their stillness, and some people have a magical gift of being "photogenic." but rarely is a single still shot the whole story.  life is not static.  some of my favorite photos i have taken are the technically "imperfect" shots that show movement.  many times i feel they show more of the essence of the person or subject than the still shot can convey ~ like a psychedelic capturing of the spirit.  

this hand-me-down brown bear hoodie, now too short, has been a favorite of mine in Anjali's wardrobe.  in a tame, polyester fleece way it reminds me of the Lost Boys in Peter Pan (for which i have quite a soft spot).  it also emphasizes for me the animal quality of Anjali that i cherish so firmly.  endearing as well as challenging, i wish to help keep that wildness intact as best i can.  and if you are to portray Anjali accurately, it is clearly in movement as opposed to still.  she is a girl moving ~ inquisitive, interactive, and tactile.           

Baby Animal Anjali.

she moves.

photos taken while nursing

365

that's the number of posts i've written on this blog.  this makes 366.

a year's worth of entries over the course of the four years i've had this blog.  

four years ago: 

i was 29.  i lived in Lexington, KY, and was working as a barista at Third Street Stuff.  my sister Misha had just passed, Mister Gemini and i were bringing to a legal close that seven year portion of our relationship that we spent as a married couple, and i was sorting my belongings to move across the continent to big ol' C-A.  running sometimes twice a day to calm my mind and spirit.  and drinking a lot of whiskey.

in the four years since: 

i performed and created costumes with my dream company Lucent Dossier (then Vaudeville Cirque, now Experience) in LA for the unequivocal performance time of my life. i fell in love and moved in with Sealion (and good friend Mackindaddy) in Sacramento, attended Burning Man for the first through third times. i auditioned for and got accepted to dance with a most auspicious (but now defunct) bellydance company, Ultra Gypsy, and passed on it.  followed my guiding star to study food ~ attending Bauman College's Natural Chef program, and then working extensively and finally apprenticing at Three Stone Hearth Community Supported Kitchen, began eating meat again for the first time since i was 16.  i ran a half, then a whole marathon (26.2 miles).  i married Sealion in the Black Rock Desert (then at the Sacto courthouse), moved to Berkeley, got pregnant, and had baby Anjali Sage after a week-long labor at home with a midwife that ended in an emergent C-section. 

right now:  i am a Mommy.  i am 33 years old.  i garden, sew, prepare and eat good food from the farmers' markets, walk and bike with my husband and baby, read, write and take pictures, and watch iTunes movies in bed at night with headphones.  i am cultivating a community close by.  each of my parents is retiring this summer.  my husband and i are investigating buying a house here in Berkeley.  i don't jog or dance nearly as much as i'd like to.  i drink close to a quart of  raw whole milk from Claravale Farm a day.  

(right-right now:  i'm eating a chicken salad sandwich while reclining in bed next to my sleeping almost-seven-month-old daughter, and my cat, Kitty, who is purring suspiciously close to that mug of raw milk on the nightstand.)    

i don't like to look back, nor do i revel much in past accomplishments.  i don't believe in "the good ol' days," preferring instead to believe that life can be lived in fullness any time we pay attention.  but i can't help but think i'd be hard-pressed to find a chunk of four years that are as dynamic as the past four.  there certainly were lulls and lows, but lots of highlights i left out of this little synopsis for brevity.  

this blog doesn't fully represent "me" the past four years, but it says a lot.  the silences oftentimes as much as the posts, what i leave out as much as i include.  it has evolved to be something i approach quite thoughtfully and mindfully.  i attempt to "put my best face forward" while at the same time being as authentic and honest as i can bare.  i hope to reach audience members who feel they can relate, and to help them not to feel alone.  and i would rather focus on the beauty of life as i see it ~ without airbrushing.  

when i was practicing dance in preparation for that big audition, i taped up a teabag wrapper for every time i practiced (as was my art ~ incorporating discarded items, pictures, and words in collage form, on fabric, butcher paper, on every surface and any wall).  this was to demonstrate to myself that, though the little bit didn't feel like much, bit by bit became a long line of green paper squares that extended across the wall, and rehearsals that led to a prepared audition.  these days, i don't have to tape teabag wrappers as i have a child who grows literally before my eyes.  starting out as a single cell inside of me, she has developed to be the 17-pound center of my life.  she embodies the idea that big shifts happen "day by day" and "minute by minute," as it's sung in one of my favorite Brett Dennen songs.  as quickly as Anjali grows and changes, i am urgently reminded to be present for each of those day-by-days.   

so, 365 posts later, here i am and here we are.  i am appreciative of the voice this blog gives me, and appreciative of those of you who come back again and again.  cheers!    

(ha!  i got quite link-happy here.   i think that's kind of a give-away of how contemplative this blog post made me, and how much later i'm awake than i planned to be. . i could keep going, linking words to previous entries, but ~ i'm sleepy.  gold star for anyone who clicks on every link.  or maybe a swat on the behind to say, "hey ~ close the friggin' computer and go outside!")     

mindful re-minder

(i could be frustrated and spend an hour trying to fix this font that blogger has dictated, but i'm going to let it slide and get on with my day. . )

I'm plenty cheesy, and I'm not above self-help.  I have read quite a few advice books and how-to books about happiness and fulfillment.  And over the years I have subscribed to various websites that send little notes to my inbox reminding me to choose my mentality.  So it is not surprising that I am seeking the advice of confident parents whose philosophies resonate with me.  Although Scott Noelle's daily blurbs, entitled, "The Daily Groove", are child-related, often I don't think they're parenting-specific.  The following one really hit home for me in my perfectionist tendencies.  Sealion and I have applied it with quite a bit of success in our daily life ~ one fraught with trying to "do it right", and many the heated conversation on the whys and why nots of parenting choices.  Perhaps it might speak to you in your life.   

I'd Rather Feel Good!

by Scott Noelle, posted on 2006-05-30

We've been conditioned by the agents of our culture — parents, teachers, the media, etc. — to believe that our success and happiness depend on being "right."

Today, let's question that...

When you argue with your child, you may be "right," but do you feel happy?

When you criticize your partner, you may be "right," but do you feel love?

When you berate yourself for making a mistake, you get to be "right" about your wrongness! Are we having fun yet???

If you feel stress today — even mild tension — ask yourself if you're trying to be "right" about something, and consider the potential relief of simply letting it go.

Just breathe... and tell yourself, "I'd rather feel good than be right!"

growing!

silly

Anjali is developing a sense of humor.  Or at least has a joke.  She sticks her tongue out of the side of her mouth with the funniest little grin!    

 Gramma and Papa were in town this week, and it became her game with Gramma, and then all of us, to stick her tongue out as an invitation for play.  So, initiated by Anjali many times a day,  we all had our tongues stuck out.  Hilarity.  Early yesterday morning the grandparents caught their flight home.  As Sealion, Anjali, and I were out and about town later in the day, she and I ducked in to a corner for some privacy nursing.  She popped her head up over my arm, locked eyes with Papi across the way, and stuck her tongue out mischievously!

a moment of calm

parenting requires me to be "on" all the time.  if i may use a river rafting analogy, it seems that there are few still and slow pools, and more waves to navigate.  they may not all be Class IV rapids, but they require navigation, nonetheless.  so riding the waves with a bit of a gameplan perhaps, some clarity, and a light heart, feels necessary.  

things have felt stressful for me lately.  there has been plenty plenty of good and fun ~ even some easy, but .. some stress.   i took this photo because this morning i felt successful under these conditions.  my heart felt calm.  

  

 taking note of these moments in life is helpful.

note the highchair. . 

(i feel as if i look worn out in every photo i take of myself lately.  even ones that i take to show myself what i look like when i feel energetic..  but i feel it's important to show them.)  

happy mommy's day

ooooh, thank you!!

enter:

the highchair!

oh, 

what fun

we have in store!

wine and chocolate

when the chocolate bar runs out,

you make do. 

feral

It delights me that Anjali is a little animal.  I love how uncivilized she is.  That a wet diaper, any  random plant leaf, the floor, a pen, a magazine page, and dirt are all equally worthy of investigation via tongue. That she gazes lovingly at my breasts and only sees nurturance.  I love that she farts loudly while looking me in the eye with an earnestly straight face.  Through her, I think I really understand what it means to be "fresh."  

Oh!  To remain untamed!