Yup

***

***

I think I'm doing it. I'm gonna take Anjali to Burning Man.

(caution: i always wax wordy and ponderific when it comes to Burning Man, don't i. . )

Before we got pregnant, we were so convinced that we would be that hard-core family who went no matter what! But as I got more and more pregnant, and Baby became more and more of a reality (and an oven), we skipped last year. As soon as Anjali came out into the world, and I took in how precious and soft and beautiful she was, there was no way I was taking this tiny creature into the harsh desert. She might get hot! Or some careless person might break her! This was the firm stance I took. And sensible people whom I respect agreed wholeheartedly. My husband and friends made plans for the playa, and I made plans for a girlfriend trip to San Diego with Anjali instead.

And then Sealion played a sweet game with Anjali where he hid behind the door of the kitchen and popped out randomly ~ first up high, then down low! From one side, then mysteriously the other! And with a different silly facial expression every time. I might have enjoyed it as much as she did. It reminded me of the childlike open heart that I always rediscover while in Black Rock City. Lightness. Later in the day I was dancing in the kitchen (as I often do) to some inspirational beats. And the idea came to me, really for the first time: I could go to Burning Man with Anjali. Crazy talk. I thought about it some more. As I did, a tension was released in my stomach that I didn't realize I was holding. I found I was liking myself more. I felt hopeful and optimistic. Hmm. This is important to pay attention to.

Scheming, researching, I joined the Kidsville theme camp Yahoo group (yes, for those of you unfamiliar, there is a family camp out there already). Asked some questions, checked in with my self once again (and with my husband). It felt good. I registered myself and Anjali for a camping spot in Kidsville. (Papi will still be camping with our friends over in Kentucky Fried Camp, where they serve fried baloney on white sandwiches and shots of bourbon [not to be interchanged with Jack Daniels] to a long line of hungry playa-goers. them's our peeps!)

I remember talking to one of my friends, a father of a three-year-old who had been to the playa pre-baby. About taking children, he firmly judged, "Burning Man is an *adult* playground." And I nodded. Yes; I'm sure the drug-induced orgies will occur while we're there. But we'll never come upon them, just as I've never seen one in the past. On the playa, as with most of life, you kinda find what you're looking for. Especially between the hours of 7 am and 9pm in Kidsville.

As for my baby ruining my own fun at Burning Man? She *is* fun for me. My experience this year will be different than in years past. But, as I already said, it depends on what you're looking for. I'm looking for a few days in my favorite city with my favorite new person; not for a babysitter while I go play like a non-Mommy (though I respect all those other parents out there who do have a babysitter. That's just not my vision for *me* this time around).

When I entered Black Rock City for the first time, I was awe-struck. I felt as if I had found my home-planet, finally! A whole city full of creative adventurous people living self-imagined possibilities, stretching breaking and stepping past limits. Visionary, expressive, do-ing, solutionary (I like that word; I should send it to Webster's), hugely thought-provoking, and Big.

Anjali doesn't need this homecoming. She is already there. She is Big everyday, and only knows how to live Big. But Mommy would love a reminder. Last year when I chose not to attend, I felt as if I were saying "yes" to my baby. This year, more and more, it's feeling like I have been saying "no" to my self and my spirit. I feel as if I need to go. And, more than the mild temps and fully-clothed citizenry of Berkeley, Anjali needs a Mommy who is in touch with her self and feels free.

I'm ready to say yes.

***

And the next question I answer yes to ~ why, yes, I have started sewing feverishly. ; )

***wig and goggles not necessarily included.

butterfly bush, nasturtium, bachelor's button, cosmos,

mystery daisy-esque flower

crafty: kitty cat dress for a friend

I am pleased to get to show you this latest sewing project that I created for a dear friend for her first birthday.

At the family reunion ~ I'm honored!

This was shot when it was hanging on the clothesline, here.

For the base dress I used a pattern by Lotta Jansdotter, from her book, Simple Sewing for Baby. But I really took off from there. I repurposed three women's blouses (called "baby doll blouses" ~ how appropriate), and was able to incorporate the collar, shoulder pleats and buttons from one blouse to make this dress a lot fancier than the pattern from which I was working. And I used the pocket from another blouse. I had so much fun scheming how to use the blouses and then making this dress. And although the design intends for the closure to go in the back (as with lots of women's clothing), you can see that it works just fine in the front. But, of course, the cute dress only highlights how special the wearer, herself, is.

Oh, dear. .

And they keep getting cuter?!

boogie down . . sometimes

Well, I spoke too soon on that one.  This morning as we listened to it, it had quite a "Dance Party 2000" kinda feel to it.  And then as soon as I started to walk over to give a song a "thumbs down," I look over at Sealion and he is mouthing the words and knows all the breaks (his favorite music radio station is SF's gay dance station).  So cute.  

So a lot of the time you get Curtis Mayfield (whom I *love*), and sometimes you get people called Maroon 5.  It's all very danceable, just some is very much my style, and some very much Sealion's. And, of course, since it's Pandora, you can fine-tune it to your preferences.  

Just do it when Sealion's not looking.  ;-)    

. ..  a post script:  ok, so i was wrong in the above post.  when sealion read it, he said, "i do *not* like Maroon 5!"  i just picked that group because it was one with which i was totally unfamiliar.  but apparently that doesn't even represent him well, either.  so there you go. . (but there are still plenty that he does like that i would thumb down!)  

boogie down

I feel cheesy loving Pandora as much as I do.  But here's a station  Sealion suggested this morning that I just *love* ~ Jamiroquai.  Stevie Wonder, classic Michael Jackson (may his soul finally be at peace), and then a bunch of newer stuff I wasn't familiar with that is so danceable.  This station is seriously, severely bootie-shake material.  You can't help but dance.    

   

feverfew, yarrow, butterfly bush, nasturtium, and pea blossom, 

with the Pooh Bear lamp that one of my parents' friends made for me when I was born. 

dance, and the dancers

And did I mention dance?  

Creative, innovative, highly skilled, hard-working, passionate and devoted to the dance, 

these lovely creatures are too modest.  

gratitude: for friends

Ahhh. So awesome to have TT, Farhad, Mel, Phil, and Phil's mom, Sonya, "Me-maw," in the area for a while! Music, hookah, dance, laughter, bourbon, and late night (all-the-time, more like it) Indian food (well. . food. if we're involved, there's food involved) were all in abundance.

Ahhh. Good, old friends. And good times with good old friends.

TT!

TT and Farhad toast the oysters at Hog Island in SF's Ferry Building. 

Anjali and her new BFF, Ivy, from whom Anjali earned her first official nickname, Jolly (a common American mispronunciation of the tail end of her name, and more importantly, a fitting adjective). 

Me-maw! (not ours ~ Ivy's.)

A music rehearsal with Helm at the Shochats'.  

The melody from Farhad's tar was the theme of my head the whole time.  

Farm City

I've jumped headlong into another great new book.  Written by one of the women who work/own at the biodiesel station where we buy our fuel, Biofuel Oasis, I had heard about its emergence and awaited it eagerly.  Farm City The Education of an Urban Farmer, by Novella Carpenter, is the account of the real life adventures of the author raising produce, honey, eggs, and meat in a vacant lot in downtown Oakland.  Compassionate, frank, witty, and detailed.  With Sealion having just scoped out the "perfect" designs for our near-future chicken coop, and picked up the second-hand lumber this afternoon, it feels relevant.  And just plain fascinating.  

Now back to the book!     

MyFarm

Remember my friend and fellow Three Stone Hearth apprentice, Trevor?  Well, check out how far his business, MyFarm, has come!  I am so impressed, and so psyched for them and San Francisco.
 

gratitude: for friends

Woo!

Landing pad, soundingboard, ear, shoulder, hand. 

(At the Coronado beach [right, woo?], San Diego.)

 

Buddy, girlfriend, sister, auntie.

Life doesn't feel right if I go too long without seeing my Woo-lie. 

(With Miles at The Linkery in San Diego.)

baby-loving interlude

gratitude: for friends

Today I'm giving thanks for our Family, Uncle Brian and Tita Arlene (known formerly on this blog with different names...)

We miss our family dinners with them so much, but that makes having dinners together nowadays even more special.

(Here we are enjoying a family dinner on our back deck.) 
With Family, you have full-on belly laughs like this.  I love this photo of Sealion because it is so genuine and full of joy. 
They're our partners in Good Food. 

(At Oliveto in Rockridge celebrating Arlene's birthday.)
And Tita enthusiastically comes to the rescue for a grumpy squirming Anjali.  (Here we're at the Big Kitchen in San Diego.)
Cheers!  To Family.  

gratitude: for friends

Well, I've been trying to articulate myself on this matter for weeks now and just not getting it to my liking.  Meanwhile, I don't have much time to write with many loved ones visiting.  This has  resulted in a blog that has been sadly sparse this month.  

Sealion and I are beside ourselves grateful for friends and loved ones these days.  And while I valued hermiting for years as I hashed and rehashed some inner work, I think it has served me and that I may be social now.  I'm sure it probably surprises some of you who know me well that visiting and having visitors for a solid month sounds just fine and even mostly awesome to me!  Who will be visiting next?  Come on out, y'all.

So for the next few posts I would like to give thanks for some dear friends.  We are so blessed. 

First I would like to send a heaping helping of gratitude out for my oldest dear friend Gemini Cricket.  I continue to be impressed with how we have allowed each other to evolve and change, and how our friendship weathers those evolutions and changes.   Gemini had a birthday recently, and a few nights beforehand, I had a dream in which I was giving him a big, warm birthday hug.  He is so much a part of who I am, even thousands of miles away and months between visits.  

Cricket papa with Firefly babe.  I love this photo!

Love to you, dear friend!    

baby's first bangles

Even if she weren't the daughter of a bellydancer, a girl named Anjali needs some bangles, don't you think?!

Thanks, Aunt TT!  

Food, Inc.

I haven't done an advertisement in a while (and I've been brewing up a soapbox speech about plastics, but haven't found the time. . ). 

 Here's one worth watching: the movie, Food, Inc., due in theaters tomorrow.  If you have been wondering what all the fuss is about organics, food safety/security, "local" foods, and why it is they expect you to pay several times more for the "same product" if it is labeled organic, this will be a high quality introduction for you.  Seeing a movie is a pretty painless form of education.  From this interview by CUESA, it sounds as if most of the information will not be shocking to those of us "in the know" about food issues.  But I think it's always wise to keep myself reminded about why it is I do what I do, and don't do what I don't do, and to support the folks who are putting forth the effort to get the information out, also so that when someone says, "Whatta you think about this?" I can have a fruitful conversation about it.  Because what we eat is so important for so many reasons.  It affects everything.  

crafty: wet bag for a friend

I made this wet bag ~ a bag to hold wet cloth diapers ~ for my friend, Jessica, and her little baby, Tor.  I didn't get to take a photo of it before I gave it to her, but I love this photo she took with her computer ~ her little smile above the bag, and Tor's sweet face behind.The bag is made of felted (washed and dried on hot) wool sweaters ~ blue ribbed on the back, brown-and-natural with multi-colored diamond stripes on the front, and orange flap, with a velcro closure on the flap, and a loop on either side for hanging.  

spirit photos of a baby animal

a line i love from that funky wordsmith Ani diFranco says, "It took me too long to realize that I don't take good pictures cuz I have the kind of beauty that moves."  true, some images convey so much in their stillness, and some people have a magical gift of being "photogenic." but rarely is a single still shot the whole story.  life is not static.  some of my favorite photos i have taken are the technically "imperfect" shots that show movement.  many times i feel they show more of the essence of the person or subject than the still shot can convey ~ like a psychedelic capturing of the spirit.  

this hand-me-down brown bear hoodie, now too short, has been a favorite of mine in Anjali's wardrobe.  in a tame, polyester fleece way it reminds me of the Lost Boys in Peter Pan (for which i have quite a soft spot).  it also emphasizes for me the animal quality of Anjali that i cherish so firmly.  endearing as well as challenging, i wish to help keep that wildness intact as best i can.  and if you are to portray Anjali accurately, it is clearly in movement as opposed to still.  she is a girl moving ~ inquisitive, interactive, and tactile.           

Baby Animal Anjali.

she moves.

photos taken while nursing